You're at your desk. You have a deadline. Your phone rings: it's your mother at the doctor's office and she doesn't have the right forms. At the same time, your WhatsApp is going: your daughter is at the petrol station, the code is not working on the car, and she needs your help.
 

And here you are. Trying to show up at work as a professional. You need to be an octopus with a limb in every direction, meeting everyone's needs at once.

This is your day. Very often!

I hear this all the time from women just like you. They sit across from me and say:

"I don't even know how to talk to my kids anymore. They get irritated when I speak to them. They've made choices I wouldn't have made for them. And every time I try to connect, it goes wrong. 

And my parents just call me with a list of things they want done right now. I've become like a health caretaker and liaison. I don't even recognise the relationship we used to have.

I don't know who I am with any of them anymore. I’m doing things for other people all the time. I don't know who I'm meant to be now."
 

Maybe that sounds familiar.

Here's what I want you to hear:

The way you're relating to your children was built for when they were young. It worked then. It doesn't work at all now. And nobody's shown you what to do instead.

And the way you're showing up for your parents is costing you so much. Not because you're doing it wrong but because you're doing it alone, with no support and no boundaries and no one looking after you.
 

This is exactly the work I do.
 

In my office, you finally get to say the thing you can't say to anyone else because it feels too ugly, too disloyal, too "bad" to say out loud. It’s not pretty but it’s real - the shame, the fury, the pain.

We work through the pain and frustration. You get to look at old ideas and thoughts in a different, new way. 
 

And things change. Not in a magical instant. But in real time: we make new options, you try them, and you’re surprised that your feet are on the ground and you breathe deeply. And when something doesn't work, we figure out why and adjust it until it's right for you. You become more and more yourself. 

Your son comes to you with something big. And instead of jumping in to fix it or tell him what to do, you stay calm, stay in the conversation, and actually hear what he's saying. And he feels it.

Your daughter calls and says: "Hey Mom, have you got a minute? I really want your advice on something."

You show up for your parents. You do what needs doing. Your jaw relaxes and your shoulders loosen instead of staying clenched all the way there and back. 

You put your phone down while you finish something important at work. And actually finish it to the standard you’re proud of.

You don't answer every message the moment it arrives. You breathe. You have a moment that is just yours.

This is what becomes possible. Steady change. Finding out who you are now, and how to connect with your children and parents. And living in relief!

If you recognise yourself in this, that recognition is worth paying attention to.

It's easy to feel the pull and then let your logical brain talk you out of it. "Not right now. It's not that bad. I don't really need that."

But you've been saying not right now for a while. And here you still are.
 

Book a call. It's time.