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What is your why?

Many years ago someone told me that she knew exactly what her mission was in this world.  I remember being completely amazed and confused and left feeling totally inferior. 

I had no idea what I was meant to accomplish in this lifetime. I jumped to all different negative conclusions about myself for not knowing.

And after a while, I realized that we don’t necessarily have only 1 mission in this world. At different times we have different things to accomplish, different work to do with different people.

When my children were little I chose to dedicate myself to raising them: nourishing their hearts, bodies and souls, from playing in the sandbox to kissing  a boo-boo. This was my choice and every decision I (and my husband) made was around this choice.

Then things changed as they grew. I expanded into coaching and challenged myself to continue my path of growth. My mission changed as I changed. And now it’s clear to me that my lifework is about bringing other women to the place where they can figure out what they’re here to do and help them make it happen.

I’ve worked with loads of women and I’ve seen  a pattern. When a woman comes in to see me and she’s feeling exhausted, worn out, like getting up means trudging through treacle, totally on “empty”, super emotional and just done, we’ve got work to do.

One piece of this work is figuring out her “why” because without it she's just barely getting through the day.

The tool I use that provides awesome results is the “60th birthday” (or 70th - depending on her age)

And this is how it goes:

It’s your 60th birthday and everyone has come to celebrate this fantastic occasion with you.

Where is the party being held?

Who is here?

Who else?

And who else?

And what have they come to thank you for?

What are they so grateful that you have done or been for them?

And as we work through this, the people she needs to serve become clear, the issues she needs to impact become clear and her mission takes form!

And her eyes sparkle! She cries - not tears of sadness and exhaustion but tears of hope, connection and value! And I know we’re there! And when she has this so clear she can do so much! She’s inspired and inspiring! 

She isn’t stumped by all the questions about: who am I to try do all this? 

She’s got a deep, inspired mission and her job is to take just the next step in what she can bring to the world! She’s thrilled and I’m thrilled being part of it too!

And this is my invitation to you: Whether you’re coasting through life or feeling burnt out and exhausted, try this exercise. 

Take it all the way through. And I’d love to hear what you discover!

And if you’d like some help with this, please let me know and we can work through it together.

Because when we light each other’s flames, the world is filled with more and more light!

Much love always,



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